Part 2: Thoughts

I am still living the life now, but it has been a little different since Spring break. I resigned from my job at Brookcreek before Spring break and since then I have had a lot of free time on my hands. At first I really enjoyed this extra time, but as the semester has gone on I have been getting restless. God has blessed me with this time in my life to learn to slow down. I have taken a sick sort of pride in the way that I was overly busy, over committed and somehow able to maintain some sort of sanity. “I needed to kill super-Kayla.” God gave me this time in my life to learn to take a chill pill, to calm down enough to be able to understand what is going inside me, and to truly care about what is going on inside of others. So it has been hard in a strange way, but good to be able to have this season of rest before I hit the craziness of summer.

In my previous blog I said that I rarely think about dying. Well, I would say that this has changed quite a bit since February. Good friends of our family were in a bad car accident over spring break. I was able to see them the week after the accident---it was so hard to see them like that. Then the night that KU won the national championship, we were nearly hit by a car on Tennessee St. If Jess or I had been driving instead of Micah, we would have been hit. Micah hit the gas and flew out of the way, I would have hit the breaks, and that would have been really bad. Since then I have been thinking a lot about accidents, I have tried to be more careful while driving and more aware of the possibility of something bad happening. I guess that this is a natural reaction to a situation like this. Sometimes when I am driving I think that I am going to hear a crunch…unsettling.

And about faith, God is good at what He does. He has a plan and sometime he chooses to allow us to see a little glimpse of it, and that is a fabulous blessing. I just finished rereading Sex God by Rob Bell. He is so articulate about humanity and spirituality and life. You know that feeling you sometimes get. That feeling of excitedness, almost giddiness. The feeling when you are reminded how awesome and sovereign and intricate and, well, amazing God really is…